From the Heartland

This is my soap box, on these pages I publish my opinions on firearms and any other subject I feel like writing about.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

It was a Three Dog and a Cow Night

Dear concert goer,

Yea you, the six foot plus bleach bottle blonde heffer with the Big Red sweatshirt and the ass that's at least two axe handles across.

Don't take this the wrong way, but when you are built like the prize milk cows I saw in the Ag barn before the show, it is very fricken rude to stand through half of a rock concert unless you are in the very last row or everyone else is standing. It is extremely rude when you wobble side to side clapping your hoofs hands almost but not quite in time with the music so that the four people behind you can't see no matter what they try to do.

You haven't seen your teen years in almost three decades, quit trying to act like you 18 again, just sit your fat ass down and enjoy the show so that everyone else can see and enjoy it too.

Really Bossy it gave us no pleasure to see your prize watermelon size asscheeks shake and quiver two feet in front of our faces right at eye level while listening (because we couldn't see the stage) to a live Three Dog Night song.

Thank you though for not lifting your tail and ... well lets just say that you were more curtious than some of the dogs at the Haymarket.

Console yourself with the fact that you were not the only one. There was the Switek looking wannabe dweeb (Miami Vice) just in front of you and the malnurished Bruce Willis looking wannabe and his entire onterage in front of Switek.

The open air concert area at the State Fair just does not have a steep enough slope from top to bottom for good viewing when seated let alone when rude people want to stand. If you want to get up on your hind legs and gyrate your rolls of fat go to the top of the deck or all the way down front.

Thoughts on the Concert

Other than that the Three Dog Night Concert wasn't bad ... as long as you knew the words to the songs they were singing.

  • Too much Mic on the drums
  • Too much volume on the keyboard
  • Too much distortion in the microphones

I tried really hard to hear the guitar riffs when it was obvious that one was being played, (you know when the guy with the guitar almost in the dark off to one side for most of the show comes to the center stage spot light and begins to look like he is having a spastic fit) but the drums were just mic'd up way to flipping load ...I mean loud .. Really ...most of the time the snare and tom drums were louder than the vocals being sung on the mic. With that being the case unless you were there you can only imagine the volume of the foot pedal base beat and the crash of the cymbols. The drummer was good, his instuments were just set three rock concert notches higher than everything else including the vocals.

Coming in a close second to the drums the keyboards proved at times to be more of a distraction than an accompaniment.

Bands, on getting long in the tooth tend to distort their mics a bit and hide behind loud music to cover any perceived loss in vocal prowness from too much booze, pot or other mass quanities of unknown hulcinegenics. On the few songs that we were able to actually understand the lyrics the band did a damn fine job vocalizing, thus proving to me that they still got it.

It would seem that they have forgotten what to do with it though.

The encore

I don't think I have ever heard "Jerimiah was a Bullfrog" done better, we had to wait till the encore to hear it though, but hey I can hang with that and yea it was worth it.


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