From the Heartland

This is my soap box, on these pages I publish my opinions on firearms and any other subject I feel like writing about.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

More movies that will never be in a theater near you

As news is a tad bit slow I have had time to review a few more never to be seen in a theater anywhere movies.

The Mugsters - the Movie -R
Finally brought to the White House this is the movie adaptation of the long running Senate seats. John Kerry is apropriately cast as the lead actor, playing the ever loving and all caring Herman Mugster. His son Eddie is played by relative rich kid newcomer John Edwards. DNC Cinematic Productions went all out in casting Thereeeeza Heinz-Kerry as the loving, Pumpkin cookie baking, but determined Lilly Mugster. Rounding out the all-star cast is the venerable Ted Kennedy as Grampa Mugster. While passed attempts to go from a Senate seat to the White House have had relative success, the flip flopping performance of all of the leading actors, leads this critic to suggest saving your money. If this extravaganza finds success in the White House your going to need it.

Dan Headroom -PG
This lackluster cinematic biography about the decades that CBS Talking Head News Anchor Dan Rather has spent in broadcast journalism. This Bio-pic pulls no punches and accurately depicts Dans evolution from humble beginings to his eventual fall from grace. This is a must see movie that draws the audience into a controvercy over faked and forged documents. Watch as the producers (CBS Productions) continue to insult the intellegence of the movie going public by continually justifying the conduct of the lead character. After all they proclaim, it doesn't matter that the documents were faked, if the information in them is true. While this film has been hyped endlessly by conservitive movie critic bloggers, save your money, this low budget production is not worth the cost of a ticket on dollar movie day.

Homeland Ridge -G
This slow moving movie chronicles the dismal career of Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge from his lowly Pennsylvania digs in the Governors Mansion to helm of the most subversive and over funded Government agency ever created. This high budget production drags on and on as Secretary Ridge attempts to employ Patriot Act after Patriot Act with predictable results. Don't waste your money on this one, Congress has already done it for you.

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